Mind Your Manners

Grace never goes out of style!

I grew up in the Bronx where we hung out on street corners with boom boxes. Roller skated and played Double Dutch until the streetlights came on. We were feral and learned how to survive on our own. But we also knew manners.

Please and thank you. Respect your elders and acknowledge people when we walk into a room.

Nobody called it etiquette. It was simply how we were raised.

Maybe that’s the point.

Manners were never about where you came from, how much money your family had, or whether you were raised with ball gowns and white gloves. They were about respect—for other people and for yourself.

I’m still that Bronx girl. But I've learned that grit and grace were never opposites.

You can have both. You can know which spoon to use and still tell someone to knock it off. 

Over the years, Etiquette has gotten a bad rap. We hear the word and immediately picture white gloves, itchy stockings, finishing schools and how to cut a banana with a fork. But good manners were never really about utensils. It also isn't submission.

It's a social skill, and knowing the rules can increase confidence and independence.

For generations, cultures around the world have marked the transition from girlhood to womanhood. In the American South, debutante traditions formally introduced young women into society. In many Latin American cultures, the quinceañera celebrates a girl's fifteenth birthday and an important passage toward adulthood. Across countries and cultures, the ceremonies may look different, but many share the same common denominator; preparing a young person to step confidently into the real world. Knowing how to introduce yourself, enter a room with confidence, make conversation, dine comfortably, extend an invitation or politely decline one isn't about becoming less independent.  In fact, it’s quite the opposite. How to carry yourself with class and sophistication give you the tools and the confidence to go anywhere. It’s not about affluence or perfection and it certainly isn't about teaching women to minimize themselves.

The world has changed. Women have changed it.

Good manners still belong in it.

So, we're going to have a little fun exploring etiquette—some traditions, history and plenty of practical lessons for navigating modern life.

· When someone buys dinner: what’s polite?

· The lost art of the thank-you note.

· Being a good houseguest.

· How long can you stay at someone’s house? 

· Phone etiquette at dinner.

· Who introduces whom?

· How to politely leave a conversation.

· What to bring when someone invites you to dinner.

· Is it rude not to RSVP? YES!!!

· How to disagree without becoming an asshole.

· What being “classy” actually means—and why it has very little to do with money.

· Irish hospitality traditions versus American ones.

· Travel etiquette: airplanes, hotels, tours, trains.

And yes, eventually we're going to talk about UTENSILS!

Because SHE isn’t waiting for someone else to introduce her to the world.

And SHE is going to do it the right way!